Woke up in South Dakota and surprisingly found
No rain. No lightning. No thunder. It’s a good day.
Get on the road for a long day of driving towards
Seattle – Nuvi Gipsy (almost reluctantly) guides us.
South Dakota is flat like a pre-Galilean earth, until
You hit the Missouri river. Then it’s mountain-country
For a while.
We came upon a trucker who was far angrier than was
Necessary. We’re not sure if his anger was borne of his Napoleon
Complex, his illiteracy, his inability to grow a moustache that
Can be taken seriously, or the fact that he was transporting
Crickets. Anyway, we passed him. Then he passed us.
So we passed him again, only to get re-passed by this
Half-mustachio’d Christmas elf from Utah. Game on, Broheme.
We pass him again and get it on tape. “Congratulations, Dev & Martin,”
We thought, “you won the battle.”
Wrong.
This tiny little goblin-like creature comes up on our right once again.
Out with the video camera. Let’s get this Gollum wanna-be on tape.
Oh, how superior we thought we were.
And how surprised and shocked we both were when
We realized that this little cricket guy was taping us!
He must have gotten wind of the show in Chicago (no pun intended)
And realized that he was playing “king of the road” with
Two international superstars. I’m sure he’s following the blog now.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he set up his own blog,
Following the progress of ours.
Or maybe he was just pissed – who knows?
Either way, this little man fell from the ugly tree and hit
Every branch on the way down. I can’t say I wouldn’t be angry
If I were 5’2”, 130 lbs and looked like a cross between
Darth Vader without his mask and one of those Orcs from
Lord of the Rings, you know, not the big badass ones,
The little filthy, sleazy ones. I think cricket man has taken up enough
Space here. Let’s move on.
We pulled into Ghost Town, South Dakota to gas up and
Decided to record a few songs in front of the beautiful landscape
We encountered there. A few passers-by
Stopped to talk to us. Turns out they live about
5 miles away from Dev’s house. Coincidence? Probably.
Either way, we gave them a CD and continued recording.
We also purchased South Dakota trucker hats for the
Ridiculous price of $3.50. Who could pass that up? Not us.
Update: Soda is not soda here – it’s Pop. And it only costs
10 cents. Coffee is 5 cents. We may or may not have traveled back to
the 1920’s.
We passed Rapid City, SD and saw absolutely no rapids.
In fact, the only thing that was rapid about it
Was the speed at which we passed it by.
Wyoming lasted for about 7 minutes, but gave us no
Trouble. The skies were not quite what our girls from
RJ promised, but maybe we caught them on an
Off-day.
We soon passed into Montana, which is by far
The prettiest place we’ve driven through so far.
Flat plains, snow-capped mountains, and the greenest
Hillsides. Montana’s got it all.
We stopped and recorded two more songs
As the sun was going down behind us.
If I could do college all over again, I would strongly
Consider Chief Dull Knife College in Lame Deer, Montana,
Just so I can say I go to Chief Dull Knife College
In Lame Deer, Montana if anyone asks. I mean, come on.
The name alone is worth the tuition.
We kept driving into the night, but not before
Purchasing some local beer, called “Moose Drool.”
We’re pretty excited to try it.
We arrived at a rest stop at around 2:30 AM
And decided to call it a night.
Tomorrow brings us into Seattle.
Take care of yourselves.
Here are some stats:
Miles Driven: 2,774.6
$ Spent on Gas: 793.72
$ Spent on Tolls: 85.65
$ Spent on Tolls in MN, SD, WY, MT: 0.00
CDs Given Away: 21
Cricket Men Pissed Off: 0.75
Songs Recorded: 5
Cities Visited: 1
Cows Seen: ∞
P.S.: We’ll start the text-message contest
With tomorrow’s blog, since we’re updating them
A day late. Relax, okay? We’re only human.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Of Windmills & Princesses
Woke up in a very highly lofted full-size bed,
Feeling like an Ewok – just ready to go pick berries
And mess with some storm troopers.
We promised our boy Tirado that we’d come pick up our
Yacht before noon so it doesn’t take up 3 police parking spots anymore,
So we woke up at 10 AM.
There is a place in Chicago that we will clutch very closely
To our road-worn hearts:
Beans & Bagels.
Total Orders:
Dev: Toasted everything bagel with chive
cream cheese (shout out to Janna) and
a Pucker-Up smoothie
Martin: Toasted plain bagel with cream cheese
& lox (shout out to BR) and a Monkey In the
Tree smoothie
Grace: Cup of water (shout out to BORING) &
a purple smoothie with a name that
Bespeaks the obscurity of the smoothie names
Previously mentioned
Our new friend Andy hooked us up with a ride
To the police station so we could pick up our
Regatta and get going.
Of course not before saying our goodbyes
To the people who were kind enough
To invite us into their home and treat us like
Namibian princesses while we were there. I say princesses
Because I feel like, in Namibia, the princesses are treated
With much more respect and general illustriousness than
The princes. I apologize to any Namibian princes I may have
Offended with this brash assumption. But seriously,
You’re a prince, dude…relax.
We sat in traffic outside of Chicago for a little
While, but we quickly got through it and
Began moving through Illinois like any normal
And reasonably decent person would move through
Ohio: fast.
Wisconsin came and went with all her farms
And farms and grass and farms and cows. Not much
To report there, but I guess we should mention
That we were more afraid of hitting a cow
Than anything else at that point.
We hit I-90 and Nuvi Gipsy was quick to inform us
That we wouldn’t be leaving this fine stretch of highway
For another 677 miles. Thanks Nuves. Really appreciate it.
We crossed the Mississippi river into Minnesota – the state
That easily won the award for worst welcome sign ever.
I could have made a better welcome sign using
A piece of paper and colored pencils. Seriously.
Apparently Minnesota isn’t very welcoming. Or so
We thought.
But then we got out into the plains.
We were surprised to find a shit-ton of wind-turbines
That apparently supply the energy for all of the farms in the area.
There were about 6 farms in the area and about
430 wind-turbines.
If each wind-turbine generates 3000 Volts per minute
And they are turning for 23 hours every day,
How much energy does each farmhouse acquire
In the span of 3 hours? Figure it out mathletes. Get back to me.
Leave a correct answer in the comment section and you’ve
Got one juicy Captain Beef coming straight for you.
Dev called Haw-Nah (who lives in Minnesota) to see if
We could stop by her farm and watch her
Till her fields and milk her cows. We
Left a long and detailed message, only to get a call back
From a nice man who sounded like he was calling
From Bangladesh. I think we had the wrong number.
We stopped to cook some dinner (organic burgers in a
Coat of garlic, onion, pepper, and mushrooms, accompanied
By our signature 5-star salad) inside of Esperanza
and to sneakily steal
some of AmericInn’s Wi-fi to upload yesterday’s
blog entry and some new videos.
It’s tough to be sneaky when you’re steering
A gigantic armada up the street. But we pulled it off.
Oh, and we drove through Austin, MN:
Spam Town USA. I promise you, this is not a joke.
Google that – you’ll see.
We just rolled into Martin County – Minnesota
Is now the proud new owner of
12 cool points. 10 out of 10 for naming a
county after me, and 2 out of 10 for that county
being in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Congratulations,
Minnesota, you now have 14 more cool points
Than Ohio. Do the math, Ohio.
We do a lot of driving every day, so, to mediate our boredom,
We’ve decided to include you guys in our journey.
What do I mean? I’ll tell you. Riiight NOW:
The most creative text message we receive
On any given day will win a special award. No,
It’s not a Captain Beef, but we’ll put the winner
And the message in our stats section. Okay, fine,
You get a Captain Beef as well.
My number is:
207.385.6168
Dev’s is:
845.235.9978
Let’s see what you guys can come up with.
If we don’t get any messages we will make up
Fake ones and fake people so we don’t appear
Like we don’t have any friends.
Here are some stats:
# of Miles driven: 1,943.7
$ on gas: 500.01
$ spent on tolls: 85.65
CDs Given Away: Still 20
Tolls skipped by accident: 3
Tolls skipped by Martin: 0
Tolls skipped by Devin: No Comment
Toll system in Illinois: Dumb
Miami: Now farther away than Seattle. Sorry Lorena.
Indian Men Prank Called: 1
Flies Killed by Devin: 3
Update: If you pee onto a hill outside of a closed gas
Station in Minnesota, your pee will
Roll down said hill and try to drown your shoes.
I’m not sure if this also happens in other states.
If you’re not in Minnesota, do some research and let me know.
We’re docking in the Badlands of South Dakota
In the middle of a huge thunderstorm.
Rain is pouring down and we’re
Only supposed to be parked here
For 3 hours. But we don’t care. We’re
As badass as that dude on the bike in Indiana.
That’s pretty badass.
I guess, in South Dakota, when it rains it pours.
Ohio probably knows all about that…
We’re moving on tomorrow morning.
Update: Dev just killed another fly. Up that count to 4.
We hope you enjoy the videos – don’t worry, baby birds,
we’ll make sure to feed you.
Be well…
Feeling like an Ewok – just ready to go pick berries
And mess with some storm troopers.
We promised our boy Tirado that we’d come pick up our
Yacht before noon so it doesn’t take up 3 police parking spots anymore,
So we woke up at 10 AM.
There is a place in Chicago that we will clutch very closely
To our road-worn hearts:
Beans & Bagels.
Total Orders:
Dev: Toasted everything bagel with chive
cream cheese (shout out to Janna) and
a Pucker-Up smoothie
Martin: Toasted plain bagel with cream cheese
& lox (shout out to BR) and a Monkey In the
Tree smoothie
Grace: Cup of water (shout out to BORING) &
a purple smoothie with a name that
Bespeaks the obscurity of the smoothie names
Previously mentioned
Our new friend Andy hooked us up with a ride
To the police station so we could pick up our
Regatta and get going.
Of course not before saying our goodbyes
To the people who were kind enough
To invite us into their home and treat us like
Namibian princesses while we were there. I say princesses
Because I feel like, in Namibia, the princesses are treated
With much more respect and general illustriousness than
The princes. I apologize to any Namibian princes I may have
Offended with this brash assumption. But seriously,
You’re a prince, dude…relax.
We sat in traffic outside of Chicago for a little
While, but we quickly got through it and
Began moving through Illinois like any normal
And reasonably decent person would move through
Ohio: fast.
Wisconsin came and went with all her farms
And farms and grass and farms and cows. Not much
To report there, but I guess we should mention
That we were more afraid of hitting a cow
Than anything else at that point.
We hit I-90 and Nuvi Gipsy was quick to inform us
That we wouldn’t be leaving this fine stretch of highway
For another 677 miles. Thanks Nuves. Really appreciate it.
We crossed the Mississippi river into Minnesota – the state
That easily won the award for worst welcome sign ever.
I could have made a better welcome sign using
A piece of paper and colored pencils. Seriously.
Apparently Minnesota isn’t very welcoming. Or so
We thought.
But then we got out into the plains.
We were surprised to find a shit-ton of wind-turbines
That apparently supply the energy for all of the farms in the area.
There were about 6 farms in the area and about
430 wind-turbines.
If each wind-turbine generates 3000 Volts per minute
And they are turning for 23 hours every day,
How much energy does each farmhouse acquire
In the span of 3 hours? Figure it out mathletes. Get back to me.
Leave a correct answer in the comment section and you’ve
Got one juicy Captain Beef coming straight for you.
Dev called Haw-Nah (who lives in Minnesota) to see if
We could stop by her farm and watch her
Till her fields and milk her cows. We
Left a long and detailed message, only to get a call back
From a nice man who sounded like he was calling
From Bangladesh. I think we had the wrong number.
We stopped to cook some dinner (organic burgers in a
Coat of garlic, onion, pepper, and mushrooms, accompanied
By our signature 5-star salad) inside of Esperanza
and to sneakily steal
some of AmericInn’s Wi-fi to upload yesterday’s
blog entry and some new videos.
It’s tough to be sneaky when you’re steering
A gigantic armada up the street. But we pulled it off.
Oh, and we drove through Austin, MN:
Spam Town USA. I promise you, this is not a joke.
Google that – you’ll see.
We just rolled into Martin County – Minnesota
Is now the proud new owner of
12 cool points. 10 out of 10 for naming a
county after me, and 2 out of 10 for that county
being in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Congratulations,
Minnesota, you now have 14 more cool points
Than Ohio. Do the math, Ohio.
We do a lot of driving every day, so, to mediate our boredom,
We’ve decided to include you guys in our journey.
What do I mean? I’ll tell you. Riiight NOW:
The most creative text message we receive
On any given day will win a special award. No,
It’s not a Captain Beef, but we’ll put the winner
And the message in our stats section. Okay, fine,
You get a Captain Beef as well.
My number is:
207.385.6168
Dev’s is:
845.235.9978
Let’s see what you guys can come up with.
If we don’t get any messages we will make up
Fake ones and fake people so we don’t appear
Like we don’t have any friends.
Here are some stats:
# of Miles driven: 1,943.7
$ on gas: 500.01
$ spent on tolls: 85.65
CDs Given Away: Still 20
Tolls skipped by accident: 3
Tolls skipped by Martin: 0
Tolls skipped by Devin: No Comment
Toll system in Illinois: Dumb
Miami: Now farther away than Seattle. Sorry Lorena.
Indian Men Prank Called: 1
Flies Killed by Devin: 3
Update: If you pee onto a hill outside of a closed gas
Station in Minnesota, your pee will
Roll down said hill and try to drown your shoes.
I’m not sure if this also happens in other states.
If you’re not in Minnesota, do some research and let me know.
We’re docking in the Badlands of South Dakota
In the middle of a huge thunderstorm.
Rain is pouring down and we’re
Only supposed to be parked here
For 3 hours. But we don’t care. We’re
As badass as that dude on the bike in Indiana.
That’s pretty badass.
I guess, in South Dakota, when it rains it pours.
Ohio probably knows all about that…
We’re moving on tomorrow morning.
Update: Dev just killed another fly. Up that count to 4.
We hope you enjoy the videos – don’t worry, baby birds,
we’ll make sure to feed you.
Be well…
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tirado: Lord of the Wind and its City
10 AM is way too late to get up
when you’re in Ohio, because that leaves you
with only 14 hours in the day
to get the hell out of the state.
And as if Ohio hadn’t been annoying enough,
We had to pay another obscene amount just to leave.
If we never see Ohio again it would be too soon.
Note: Next time a crazy old guy at a gas station in Indiana
Gives you directions to Chicago that avoid all the tolls,
Trust him. Don’t just say, “Okay, guy…thanks a lot”
and ignore him,
Because he has feelings too, and the odds are pretty good
That he actually knows what he’s talking about. Lesson learned.
How is it possible that, 2 miles after paying an $8.50 toll
To leave Indiana we have to pay a $10.10 toll
To cross the so-called Chicago Bridge (which isn’t even in Chicago)?
Real cool, Illinois. Real cool.
Big thumbs up to American time zones and remembering
To change your clocks when you cross them.
Big thumbs down to residential Chicago and their
Law that prohibits big trucks with trailers to be parked
In street-side parking spaces. I mean, seriously. Grow up.
Time spent getting from the Chicago Bridge to Chicago: 2 hours
Distance covered during that time: Approximately 5 miles
Time spent trying to find a parking spot in Chicago: 1.5 hours
Parking in the Chicago Police parking lot: Priceless.
Chicago has no Batman; Chicago has no Flash. Chicago has Tirado.
This man (police officer) allowed us to park in his lot and told us
That, should we get any trouble, we should just say we’re family
And that he is unavailable. What a man.
If Jesus, Angelina Jolie, and Brett Michaels had an illegitimate
Love-child, that child would be Tirado.
Figure that one out.
Big thumbs up to Sam for picking us up in
Rush hour traffic, even though she wasn’t feeling well.
We were lucky enough to experience some traditional
Chicagoan (Chicaganese?) cuisine:
Quesadillas, guacamole, beans, and rice, along
With some delicious Sam Adams Cherry Wheat to wash it all down.
I think out of all the people that were there last night I liked
Grace, Jordan, Cassandra, Laura, Bridey (minus the fact that she’s from Ohio),
Andy, Steve, Chris, Christina, Sara, Amber,
Sam, Alexana, Lorena, Monica, Travis,
Joanna, and Aaron the best.
Candlelight + acoustic music = Pure passion potion
Here’s our set list:
1. Lovely, Lovely
2. Heathrow
3. A Thief
4. Bar on A (Greg Holden Cover)
5. Leaving
6. Eager & Alive
7. Spiraling
8. I Just Wanna Luv U/Let’s Get it On (Jay-Z/Marvin Gaye Covers)
9. Time
10. On A Freezing Chicago Street (Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s Cover)
11. Pick Your Heart Up
12. Alone
13. California
While Martin sang symphonies of sweetness,
Dev obviously rocked the girl voice parts, duh.
Good times on the reg, but Grace had no balls.
Ping-Pong balls…perverts. Get it together.
3 girls walked in and apparently were so stunningly beautiful
that the power immediately went out.
We decided to play some music for them.
They tried to drag us to the beach but
It was 4 AM and we had big plans for the next day,
So we had to decline. Sadly. Facebook us.
Things I found in my (Sam’s) bed (She wasn’t in it): Logic Homework,
Pink Bra – Cup Size: inappropriate for this blog, get your minds out
Of the gutter people, this is family entertainment, earrings, panties,
Half-full cup of Starbucks Coffee, empty tea mug with teabag still in it,
Several books and pens, and, of course, a good night’s sleep.
Note: An interesting fact has crossed our path…while it is
Approximately 35 hours to Seattle, Miami is a mere 28…we’ll sleep on it.
Here are our stats:
$ Spent on Gas: 316.91
$ Spent on Tolls: 76.65
Cities Visited: 1
CDs Given Away: 20
Noise Complaints Received: 1
# Of Times Parked at Police Stations: 1
# Shows played: 1.0
#Shows played without Mrs. Patio: 0.0
Update # 1: Nuvi, (the handy dandy GPS, but don’t tell her, she thinks shes human),
Has a last name now, and it is Gypsy. Not our call, but we had to respect
Her wishes, she’s doing a hell of a job. (Hopefully Balto and Esperanza don’t get pissy)
Update #2: Seattle > Miami ….for now.
when you’re in Ohio, because that leaves you
with only 14 hours in the day
to get the hell out of the state.
And as if Ohio hadn’t been annoying enough,
We had to pay another obscene amount just to leave.
If we never see Ohio again it would be too soon.
Note: Next time a crazy old guy at a gas station in Indiana
Gives you directions to Chicago that avoid all the tolls,
Trust him. Don’t just say, “Okay, guy…thanks a lot”
and ignore him,
Because he has feelings too, and the odds are pretty good
That he actually knows what he’s talking about. Lesson learned.
How is it possible that, 2 miles after paying an $8.50 toll
To leave Indiana we have to pay a $10.10 toll
To cross the so-called Chicago Bridge (which isn’t even in Chicago)?
Real cool, Illinois. Real cool.
Big thumbs up to American time zones and remembering
To change your clocks when you cross them.
Big thumbs down to residential Chicago and their
Law that prohibits big trucks with trailers to be parked
In street-side parking spaces. I mean, seriously. Grow up.
Time spent getting from the Chicago Bridge to Chicago: 2 hours
Distance covered during that time: Approximately 5 miles
Time spent trying to find a parking spot in Chicago: 1.5 hours
Parking in the Chicago Police parking lot: Priceless.
Chicago has no Batman; Chicago has no Flash. Chicago has Tirado.
This man (police officer) allowed us to park in his lot and told us
That, should we get any trouble, we should just say we’re family
And that he is unavailable. What a man.
If Jesus, Angelina Jolie, and Brett Michaels had an illegitimate
Love-child, that child would be Tirado.
Figure that one out.
Big thumbs up to Sam for picking us up in
Rush hour traffic, even though she wasn’t feeling well.
We were lucky enough to experience some traditional
Chicagoan (Chicaganese?) cuisine:
Quesadillas, guacamole, beans, and rice, along
With some delicious Sam Adams Cherry Wheat to wash it all down.
I think out of all the people that were there last night I liked
Grace, Jordan, Cassandra, Laura, Bridey (minus the fact that she’s from Ohio),
Andy, Steve, Chris, Christina, Sara, Amber,
Sam, Alexana, Lorena, Monica, Travis,
Joanna, and Aaron the best.
Candlelight + acoustic music = Pure passion potion
Here’s our set list:
1. Lovely, Lovely
2. Heathrow
3. A Thief
4. Bar on A (Greg Holden Cover)
5. Leaving
6. Eager & Alive
7. Spiraling
8. I Just Wanna Luv U/Let’s Get it On (Jay-Z/Marvin Gaye Covers)
9. Time
10. On A Freezing Chicago Street (Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s Cover)
11. Pick Your Heart Up
12. Alone
13. California
While Martin sang symphonies of sweetness,
Dev obviously rocked the girl voice parts, duh.
Good times on the reg, but Grace had no balls.
Ping-Pong balls…perverts. Get it together.
3 girls walked in and apparently were so stunningly beautiful
that the power immediately went out.
We decided to play some music for them.
They tried to drag us to the beach but
It was 4 AM and we had big plans for the next day,
So we had to decline. Sadly. Facebook us.
Things I found in my (Sam’s) bed (She wasn’t in it): Logic Homework,
Pink Bra – Cup Size: inappropriate for this blog, get your minds out
Of the gutter people, this is family entertainment, earrings, panties,
Half-full cup of Starbucks Coffee, empty tea mug with teabag still in it,
Several books and pens, and, of course, a good night’s sleep.
Note: An interesting fact has crossed our path…while it is
Approximately 35 hours to Seattle, Miami is a mere 28…we’ll sleep on it.
Here are our stats:
$ Spent on Gas: 316.91
$ Spent on Tolls: 76.65
Cities Visited: 1
CDs Given Away: 20
Noise Complaints Received: 1
# Of Times Parked at Police Stations: 1
# Shows played: 1.0
#Shows played without Mrs. Patio: 0.0
Update # 1: Nuvi, (the handy dandy GPS, but don’t tell her, she thinks shes human),
Has a last name now, and it is Gypsy. Not our call, but we had to respect
Her wishes, she’s doing a hell of a job. (Hopefully Balto and Esperanza don’t get pissy)
Update #2: Seattle > Miami ….for now.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Balto, Nuvi, and Esperanza
Getting up at 4:15 AM is like
going to bed at 8:45 PM: dumb.
6.5 hour drive from Winterport, ME to Red Hook, NY: Check.
Satellite radio is one of the greatest inventions ever, but it
Doesn’t even hold a candle to the GPS. That thing is magical, mystical
And (in my opinion) definitely nothing short of
paranormal. Someone get David Duchovny in here
to explain all of this.
Ours is named Nuvi (thanks Annika).
We took the liberty of naming our truck Balto because he
Is the man and tows a bunch of heavy shit behind him without
Any complaints.
Our camper is called Esperanza because she’s a wild Spanish mare
And you don’t want to get on her bad side.
She’s fiery, she’s passionate - she knows what she wants.
But she looks out for us. She’s warm and comforting
And she lets us live inside of her. Okay this is getting weird.
Anyway, I picked Dev up and we started gunning towards Chicago:
The city of Wind. Is that why they called Jordan ‘His Airness?’
I don’t know - I don’t think so. Wikipedia it.
After riding through farm-country, New York we entered
Farm-country, Pennsylvania – trees, sky, rocks.
I feel like I’ve been in the car for 18 hours.
I think it’s because I’ve been in the car
For 20 hours.
Pennsylvania doesn’t offer too much.
But to be fair, we didn’t visit Philadelphia or Pittsburgh.
Or any Amish place.
Setting up camp at a campsite (Wal-Mart) in
Ohio tonight – a stone’s throw
from Chicago…if you can throw stones over 230 miles.
Time to get a set down for the show tomorrow
But here are some stats:
Trailer: Hooked up, stocked (fully), riding smoothly
# of Miles driven: 1020.3
Hypothesis: The Vanessa Carlton song
‘1000 miles’
was written about driving from Maine
to New York and then to Ohio. Look it up. Get back to me.
$ Spent on Gas: 256.91
$ Spent on Tolls: 35.55 (Thanks, Ohio – You Bastard)
Sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Ohio: Priceless
Cities Visited: 0
CDs given away: 0
Devins Picked up: 1
# of Golden Slumbers songs learned: 1
Melissa Etheridge: Manly voice but the song
“You can sleep while I drive”
is a solid road trip song.
Plain White T’s: Literally one of the worst bands
I’ve ever heard. The song
‘1, 2, 3, 4 (I Love You)’
has caused me to consider throwing out
all of my white t-shirts in refusal of
supporting the pure unadulterated garbage that
these guys try to pass for music.
Harsh? Yes. Deserved? You tell me.
Daphne Willis: Someone find out who this girl is,
please. She came up on the satellite radio and it took me
approximately 3.6 seconds of hearing her voice to fall in
deep, deep, sweet, sweet love with her.
I think the trip has just been given a new focus:
find Daphne Willis and (with tender love and care)
force her to sing to me until the end of time,
which, by my Mayan friend’s calculations, is around
2 years from now.
Birds obliterated by our windshield: 1, but this bastard was vicious.
I saw him try to swoop in from above like a tiny little fighter pilot.
He had his greedy little
Bird-eyes on my roast beef, corned beef, and lettuce
sandwich (I call it ‘Captain Beef’).
Anyway, he foolishly challenged the windshield to a duel.
I’ll give you one guess who won. Leave your
Guesses in the comments section.
If you’re right, you get a Captain Beef,
courtesy of Me and Dev.
Toledo, Ohio: You are the angry ginger stepchild
of America.
Ohio in General: Cheer up, man. Seriously.
I thought you were for lovers.
Speaking of lovers,
We love you guys.
Be well.
This message brought to you by Overnite.com
going to bed at 8:45 PM: dumb.
6.5 hour drive from Winterport, ME to Red Hook, NY: Check.
Satellite radio is one of the greatest inventions ever, but it
Doesn’t even hold a candle to the GPS. That thing is magical, mystical
And (in my opinion) definitely nothing short of
paranormal. Someone get David Duchovny in here
to explain all of this.
Ours is named Nuvi (thanks Annika).
We took the liberty of naming our truck Balto because he
Is the man and tows a bunch of heavy shit behind him without
Any complaints.
Our camper is called Esperanza because she’s a wild Spanish mare
And you don’t want to get on her bad side.
She’s fiery, she’s passionate - she knows what she wants.
But she looks out for us. She’s warm and comforting
And she lets us live inside of her. Okay this is getting weird.
Anyway, I picked Dev up and we started gunning towards Chicago:
The city of Wind. Is that why they called Jordan ‘His Airness?’
I don’t know - I don’t think so. Wikipedia it.
After riding through farm-country, New York we entered
Farm-country, Pennsylvania – trees, sky, rocks.
I feel like I’ve been in the car for 18 hours.
I think it’s because I’ve been in the car
For 20 hours.
Pennsylvania doesn’t offer too much.
But to be fair, we didn’t visit Philadelphia or Pittsburgh.
Or any Amish place.
Setting up camp at a campsite (Wal-Mart) in
Ohio tonight – a stone’s throw
from Chicago…if you can throw stones over 230 miles.
Time to get a set down for the show tomorrow
But here are some stats:
Trailer: Hooked up, stocked (fully), riding smoothly
# of Miles driven: 1020.3
Hypothesis: The Vanessa Carlton song
‘1000 miles’
was written about driving from Maine
to New York and then to Ohio. Look it up. Get back to me.
$ Spent on Gas: 256.91
$ Spent on Tolls: 35.55 (Thanks, Ohio – You Bastard)
Sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Ohio: Priceless
Cities Visited: 0
CDs given away: 0
Devins Picked up: 1
# of Golden Slumbers songs learned: 1
Melissa Etheridge: Manly voice but the song
“You can sleep while I drive”
is a solid road trip song.
Plain White T’s: Literally one of the worst bands
I’ve ever heard. The song
‘1, 2, 3, 4 (I Love You)’
has caused me to consider throwing out
all of my white t-shirts in refusal of
supporting the pure unadulterated garbage that
these guys try to pass for music.
Harsh? Yes. Deserved? You tell me.
Daphne Willis: Someone find out who this girl is,
please. She came up on the satellite radio and it took me
approximately 3.6 seconds of hearing her voice to fall in
deep, deep, sweet, sweet love with her.
I think the trip has just been given a new focus:
find Daphne Willis and (with tender love and care)
force her to sing to me until the end of time,
which, by my Mayan friend’s calculations, is around
2 years from now.
Birds obliterated by our windshield: 1, but this bastard was vicious.
I saw him try to swoop in from above like a tiny little fighter pilot.
He had his greedy little
Bird-eyes on my roast beef, corned beef, and lettuce
sandwich (I call it ‘Captain Beef’).
Anyway, he foolishly challenged the windshield to a duel.
I’ll give you one guess who won. Leave your
Guesses in the comments section.
If you’re right, you get a Captain Beef,
courtesy of Me and Dev.
Toledo, Ohio: You are the angry ginger stepchild
of America.
Ohio in General: Cheer up, man. Seriously.
I thought you were for lovers.
Speaking of lovers,
We love you guys.
Be well.
This message brought to you by Overnite.com
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Checking in...Checking out
As I type this "first post" of mine, Mr. Martin is less than 1 hour from my house in little ol' Red Hook New York. The 40 foot rig that we've convinced ourselves we can drive 8,000 miles around the country is chuggin' along and treating her driver to a pleasant ride. I am sure that "she" will soon have a name and a song written for her seeing as how many hours we'll be with the ol' lass. Our destination on this overcast day is Chicago Illinois, or close to it. Tomorrow night we have our first show in Chicago at 8:30PM (if you want the address just ask!). Then we'll be high tailing it to Seattle over the next couple of days after that to meet up with a good friend of mine, Miss Caroline Corcoran. We'll be playing a show in Seattle on June 3rd with her band Golden Slumbers (check them out on facebook, they are amazing). Our plan is to upload videos every day or so, including videos of the shows which we will be recording and eventually make a DVD out of!
Please don't hesitate to shoot us an email, comment, phone call, etc. It is going to be a long trip, and it will be good to hear from anybody and everybody!
Here is our itinerary...if you know anyone who lives in these cities, get us in touch with them so they can come out to a show!
Talk to you all soon, keep checking in
Love,
Devin & a driving safely Martin
Depart Maine on Thursday, May 27th at 5 AM
Arrive in Red Hook, NY around 12 PM
Depart Red Hook, NY before 1 PM
Arrive in Chicago, IL around 4:30 AM, Friday, May 28th
Or
Spend night around Cleveland, OH and
Arrive in Chicago, IL around 12 Noon, Friday May 28th
Spend the night in Chicago, House concert at 8:30 PM
Spend Saturday, May 29th DAY in Chicago
Depart Chicago on Saturday, May 29th around 6 PM
Pick up Brendan in Milwaukee at 7:30 PM
Spend the night somewhere between Minnesota and Montana
Depart rest stop early on Sunday, May 30th
Drive through Montana on Sunday, May 30th
Spend the night in Montana
Depart Montana early on Monday, May 31st
Arrive in Seattle, WA evening of Monday May 31st
Spend Monday night in Seattle
Spend Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in Seattle
Show on Thursday, June 3rd
Depart Seattle on Friday, June 4th at around 8-9 AM
Arrive in Portland, OR on June 4th in the early evening
Spend June 4th and June 5th in Portland
Show on June 4th or June 5th
Depart Portland on June 6th at around 8-9 AM
Arrive in San Francisco, CA late night of June 6th
Spend the night in San Francisco
Spend June 7th in San Francisco
Depart San Francisco early morning of Tuesday, June 8th
Arrive in L.A. evening/night of June 8th
Spend the night in L.A.
Spend Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in L.A.
Depart L.A. Saturday, June 12th around 10 AM – 12 Noon
Arrive in San Diego Saturday June 12th between 4 and 6 PM
Spend the night in San Diego
Spend Sunday, June 13th in San Diego
Depart San Diego early on Monday June 14th
Arrive in Las Vegas, NV on the evening of Monday June 14th
Spend Monday night in Las Vegas
Depart Las Vegas somewhat early on Tuesday, June 15th
Arrive at the Grand Canyon, AZ evening of June 15th
Spend the night at the Grand Canyon
Depart Grand Canyon early on Wednesday June 16th
Arrive in Santa Fe, NM evening of Wednesday June 16th
Spend the night in Santa Fe
Spend Thursday, June 17th in Santa Fe
Depart Santa Fe early morning of Friday June 18th
Arrive in Austin, TX late night Friday June 18th
Spend the night in Austin
Spend Saturday June 20th in Austin
Depart Austin early on Sunday, June 21st
Arrive in New Orleans evening of June 21st
Spend the night in New Orleans
Depart New Orleans early morning Monday June 22nd
Arrive in Wilkesboro, NC evening of June 22nd
Spend the night in Wilkesboro
Depart Wilkesboro early morning of Tuesday, June 23rd
Arrive in Virginia Beach, VA/Washington D.C. early evening of June 23rd
Spend the night
Depart early on Wednesday June 24th
Arrive in Red Hook, NY late night of Wednesday, June 24th
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Pre-Trip Musings
A little more than 1 day until we depart.
Here are some stats:
Trailer: Purchased (thanks ma), not cleaned, not hooked up, not stocked...
Food: Purchased (thanks ma)
Guitar: Unstrung & Dirty (song title?)
Cities visited: 0
# of miles driven: 0
$ spent on gas: 0.00
$ spent on tolls: 0.00
Hours spent driving: 0
CDs given away: 0
# of Devins picked up: 0
Food: Purchased (thanks ma)
Guitar: Unstrung & Dirty (song title?)
Cities visited: 0
# of miles driven: 0
$ spent on gas: 0.00
$ spent on tolls: 0.00
Hours spent driving: 0
CDs given away: 0
# of Devins picked up: 0
Okay these stats might seem a bit
disparaging and maybe even a little pointless,
but just remember...
we haven't left yet.
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