Tirado: Lord of the Wind and its City

10 AM is way too late to get up
when you’re in Ohio, because that leaves you
with only 14 hours in the day
to get the hell out of the state.
And as if Ohio hadn’t been annoying enough,
We had to pay another obscene amount just to leave.
If we never see Ohio again it would be too soon.
Note: Next time a crazy old guy at a gas station in Indiana
Gives you directions to Chicago that avoid all the tolls,
Trust him. Don’t just say, “Okay, guy…thanks a lot”
and ignore him,
Because he has feelings too, and the odds are pretty good
That he actually knows what he’s talking about. Lesson learned.
How is it possible that, 2 miles after paying an $8.50 toll
To leave Indiana we have to pay a $10.10 toll
To cross the so-called Chicago Bridge (which isn’t even in Chicago)?
Real cool, Illinois. Real cool.
Big thumbs up to American time zones and remembering
To change your clocks when you cross them.
Big thumbs down to residential Chicago and their
Law that prohibits big trucks with trailers to be parked
In street-side parking spaces. I mean, seriously. Grow up.
Time spent getting from the Chicago Bridge to Chicago: 2 hours
Distance covered during that time: Approximately 5 miles
Time spent trying to find a parking spot in Chicago: 1.5 hours
Parking in the Chicago Police parking lot: Priceless.
Chicago has no Batman; Chicago has no Flash. Chicago has Tirado.
This man (police officer) allowed us to park in his lot and told us
That, should we get any trouble, we should just say we’re family
And that he is unavailable. What a man.
If Jesus, Angelina Jolie, and Brett Michaels had an illegitimate
Love-child, that child would be Tirado.
Figure that one out.
Big thumbs up to Sam for picking us up in
Rush hour traffic, even though she wasn’t feeling well.
We were lucky enough to experience some traditional
Chicagoan (Chicaganese?) cuisine:
Quesadillas, guacamole, beans, and rice, along
With some delicious Sam Adams Cherry Wheat to wash it all down.
I think out of all the people that were there last night I liked
Grace, Jordan, Cassandra, Laura, Bridey (minus the fact that she’s from Ohio),
Andy, Steve, Chris, Christina, Sara, Amber,
Sam, Alexana, Lorena, Monica, Travis,
Joanna, and Aaron the best.
Candlelight + acoustic music = Pure passion potion
Here’s our set list:
1. Lovely, Lovely
2. Heathrow
3. A Thief
4. Bar on A (Greg Holden Cover)
5. Leaving
6. Eager & Alive
7. Spiraling
8. I Just Wanna Luv U/Let’s Get it On (Jay-Z/Marvin Gaye Covers)
9. Time
10. On A Freezing Chicago Street (Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s Cover)
11. Pick Your Heart Up
12. Alone
13. California

While Martin sang symphonies of sweetness,
Dev obviously rocked the girl voice parts, duh.
Good times on the reg, but Grace had no balls.
Ping-Pong balls…perverts. Get it together.
3 girls walked in and apparently were so stunningly beautiful
that the power immediately went out.
We decided to play some music for them.
They tried to drag us to the beach but
It was 4 AM and we had big plans for the next day,
So we had to decline. Sadly. Facebook us.
Things I found in my (Sam’s) bed (She wasn’t in it): Logic Homework,
Pink Bra – Cup Size: inappropriate for this blog, get your minds out
Of the gutter people, this is family entertainment, earrings, panties,
Half-full cup of Starbucks Coffee, empty tea mug with teabag still in it,
Several books and pens, and, of course, a good night’s sleep.
Note: An interesting fact has crossed our path…while it is
Approximately 35 hours to Seattle, Miami is a mere 28…we’ll sleep on it.

Here are our stats:

$ Spent on Gas: 316.91
$ Spent on Tolls: 76.65
Cities Visited: 1
CDs Given Away: 20
Noise Complaints Received: 1
# Of Times Parked at Police Stations: 1
# Shows played: 1.0
#Shows played without Mrs. Patio: 0.0

Update # 1: Nuvi, (the handy dandy GPS, but don’t tell her, she thinks shes human),
Has a last name now, and it is Gypsy. Not our call, but we had to respect
Her wishes, she’s doing a hell of a job. (Hopefully Balto and Esperanza don’t get pissy)
Update #2: Seattle > Miami ….for now.