If Paradise and Austin fought...it'd be close...

If you were to approach
Me on the street and say
“Hey Martin, what’s the hottest
and most humid American City you could possibly
imagine?” I would say, “Easy. Austin, Texas: the Live
Music Capitol of the World.”
And you would say, “Correct!”
Austin is hot. For Northerners like us
It is almost unbearable.
We got into the city early on Thursday
And, with some help from my friend Blakely,
Found a parking lot. It was a church
Parking lot and we weren’t sure if we would be
Allowed to park there overnight. We called the operator,
Who told us that it would be $20 a night.
He clearly made that number up
Because when I paid him he realized
That I did not have $20 in cash and
Said, “just give me $15, that’s fine.”
Nice move, Baptist parking manager.
The slogan of the church, printed
On their billboard, was:
“University Baptist Church: Going Deep.”
I don’t know what it meant, but
It seemed a bit misplaced.
Anyway, we got to Blakely’s apartment
And met her roommates Sara and Erin.
They are the epitome of Southern Beauties,
And they all say ‘y’all’ a lot.
Speaking of Southern Beauties, Austin
Has the highest percentage of attractive
Girls in the country, based on a survey
That I just made up.
We got showered up and headed towards
A little coffee shop called Flipnotics for an
Open Mic. It was a good time and we handed out
A bunch of CDs. Afterwards we went
To 6th street, which was modeled after heaven.
Bars and beautiful women everywhere.
Guess how much ANY beer cost…
Nope, wrong. $1.
Yeah, you read right. $1.
I’m just going to repeat that so it sinks in.
Guess how much beers cost…
Nope, wrong. $1.
$1!
We had a few.
We checked out a few different places
And befriended Josh, the manager of
One of the bars (a place called Peckerheads).
He continued to get us free drinks,
Which we accepted, just out of mere politeness.
Wouldn’t want to be rude to a manager, right?
Towards the end of the night we went back to
The apartment to go to bed.
Blakely’s roommate Sara has many admirable
Qualities, but her best one
Is the fact that she has the most beautiful
Dog in the world: Skylar.
I woke up in the morning, and that beauty of
A dog was licking my face. Great start to the day.
We hung out in the apartment and relaxed
Before heading out to play a small
Show at Fair Bean Coffee. We made some new
Contacts and handed out more CDs.
We then got directions to a small open mic.
The lady who gave us directions said that the
Place was called ‘J-B’s Coffee House, and that it was
On 24th and San Jacinto Blvd.
We drove there. It was not there.
We continued to drive around. It was no where.
We then looked around a little more
And discovered a place called
‘JP’s Java.’ It was not on 24th. At all.
We wandered in there and were
Surprised to find a tiny little room with a bunch of
People reading poetry around a table.
We embraced it and played some songs.
Made some money. Good deal.
That night we were supposed to meet
Up with some new friends
On 6th street. We went.
They didn’t.
However, we still keep in contact with them,
And Emily, Karla, and Mandy
Have become great friends of ours.
They continued to keep track of our tour
And we really appreciate their interest.
If they ever do decide to meet up
With us again, they’ll have
A place to stay.
Anyway, we had nothing to do
So we hung out on 6th street
For a while, enjoying the
Cheap prices.
After a long night of enjoying
Those cheap prices,
We ended up back at Esperanza.
We knew it would be a hot night,
And not in the good way.
We woke up at around 7:30AM
And it was approximately
One thousand degrees.
Not being able to get back to sleep,
We got into Balto
And began to drive.
Well. I began to drive.
Dev and Brendan continued to
Sleep.
Off to Nashville with
A quick stop in Arkansas for the night.

Stats:

# of lovely girls that ditched us: 3
# of lovely girls we have forgiven for ditching us: 0
cheap drinks seen: infinity
cheap drinks purchased: infinity
amount we loved Austin: [ ] x1’000’000
days to go on the tour: not many
miles to drive: too many
money to be spent on gas: too much
good times to be had: a lot a lot

TCOE